7 Steps to Break the Chains

Most of my life, change has scared me. Still to this day, change scares me. A friend sent this to me, so I got to thinking, why does change scare me so much? I think it's because I feel like I'm usually, on the "losing" end of that change. Although, change is going to happen, it's a fact of life. People come in and out, job changes, kids grow up, there's always change, which means always adjusting.........

God asks us to "transform our mind." (Romans 12:2) Transforming into actually being what God says for me to be, doing what he wants me to do, following his "good, pleasing, and perfect will." (Romans 12:1)

I think that it goes a step further than just transforming our minds, I think that we have to change our actions and our hearts. We have to believe God's word so much with our hearts and minds, that it automatically comes out in our actions. So, the question lies in "How do we train ourselves to do this?" I usually don't "feel" that I want to make the correct choice, but after doing it many times, it becomes an automatic response and then it will change how I "feel."

Everyone's personality is different, I'm more stubborn then the general person, or at least I've been told that. Haha. I also have an addictive personality, (basically, I can get addicted to things very easily. Which that's great if you are talking about exercising, or "good" things, but more times than not it's the bad things I get addicted to and can't handle stopping, like bad relationships, or energy drinks!) The steps that I might need to take in order to follow through on looking at adapting to change better might be very different from what you need. The following are simply steps that I have either tried or have been told to try.


1. Change your focus.
      What do you focus on? What should you focus on? Family, work, church, friends? When things get rough in your life do you delve into work, so that you don't have to "deal" with your problems. Do you sit in front of the television and "zone" out? Do you turn to alcohol? Bad relationships? In those stressful moments of your life, what is it that makes you happy?
     What would it look like to change your focus? The answer to this question might be different for everyone. I have to step my mind and mentally ask myself; Am I being a good wife according to God's direction? What about mom? Am I doing my best at work? Am I working like God would want me to work?
     So, instead of fighting the temptations of what I might do, I have to examine myself and really look at those 3 things. I have to focus on the things I have, not what I have to give up. God has blessed me with so much, I have to always remember that!

2. Read your Bible, do your devotions
     As I sit here and look at that heading, I remember how hard of a task it is for me to do this. I think about how much of a struggle it is to simply pick up my bible. When I do pick it up it feels like 1,000 tons, those are the days that I'm being attacked. Most times it's the days that I am being told "You aren't good enough!" It's the days that I want to hide in my bed all day, the days that life in general just sucks. But, once I finally do open it up, usually there's something that speaks right to my heart. The times that it doesn't, I simply feel better by not focusing on whatever it is I am struggling with.

3. Pray. Sit in silence, listen. I have learned so much about the power of prayer, I believe more than ever that God, can and will change a person's life, from the inside out. God is constantly working on those that have asked for forgiveness and are obeying His every command. Take a simple thing that you need to change, for example, giving up caffeine. Every morning you pray that God gives you the strength to make it through the day. Throughout the day, you pray that he continually gives you strength.

C.S. Lewis says it well: "God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pain: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world." This says so much to me regarding actually "listening" to God. I think that our constant busy, noisy world, finding times to sit in silence and listen to what he is telling us sometimes can be the most difficult.

4. Spend time with other believers. Sometimes this can be a hard one,especially for me. I've not had very good relationships in my past, and that hinders me in current relationships. I'm a very guarded person, only those closest to me know the "real" me. I have a hard time trusting & forgiving. It's hard for me to ever forgive someone if they have broken that trust that I placed in their hands. Most times, I go through the act of forgiving them, but every time that see them I very vividly remember how they hurt me. It's a difficult thing to "take captive my thoughts," as God instructs us to do.

With all the so called, "bad" relationships out there, I still see it as such a benefit to talk to those that I know are trying to follow the same path that I am on. It's a great encouragement and it's what God wants us to do. I simply have to remember that each on of us struggles with something. Besides, I should only completely trust God, according to Psalms 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans.

5. Turn to God. WWJD- Remember when everyone had on their "WWJD" bracelets? That phrase is still very relevant in today's society. Admit to God, "I can't do this by myself, please be with me. I want to follow your will."

6. Listen. First and foremost to God and what he has to say, but to those around you. Listen to the dear friend that sees a problem and wants to help you through it. Listen to the young girl (or whoever) that is struggling with a boyfriend. It's okay to not give advice, or to say what you might do, just be there to listen so that he/she knows that someone cares. You might be the only person in someone's life that actually listens. You might be the only smiling face that child see's during the day, week, or month! Everyone is fighting their own battles, be willing to listen to what's going on in their lives.

7. Lose the Chains
 My last piece of advice is, LOSE THE CHAINS. If you knew me, you would know that I struggle with this one, a lot! It's one of my biggest struggles that I've faced through my life. I could tell you why I do just about everything in my life, from making wrong decisions, to the bad habits that I have and the good ones that I need to start. What are your chains? Take time to listen to this song and let the God be your "Chainbreaker."

One thing I would like to add is I think as humans we get stuck in this, "I've always done it that way." We have to stop saying that and believe that we are  "new creation." We need to live in that mindset and believe it.  2 Corinthians 5:17 says: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone the new is here!  

Each one of these 7 key points are things that I have been told to do time and time again by some great friends, who get very tired of telling me these things. In my stubborn ways though, it takes me a long time to actually "get it!" Also, even though I know what I'm supposed to do, it takes a while to get there. There's definitely not some magic "Easy" button that's going to make all of it disappear. It's a total mindset change. It's being "transformed by the renewing of your mind." (Romans 12:2)

I hope and pray that this reaches someone and you are able to come up with a plan based on these 7 pieces of advice.


Romans 12:1-2  Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

Psalm 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans.