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BeautifullyBroken

I am a new Christian. I have many struggles that I am seeking to overcome, from my relationship with Christ to my marriage. I am using this blog to not only help me deal with and face some of my problems but also hopefully to help others!

Good to Remember!

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May 20, 2015

I hate the feeling I have tonight!!!

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Realizations...........

April 03, 2015

Do you ever look back and think, Why? What was I thinking? How could I have done that? Well, today I was on a trip with a good friend and she said something and all of a sudden, something that my Pastor has been saying for a while finally clicked. (Sometimes it takes a while for that to happen, and sometimes I have to hear it a lot. This was a great example of that.) I realized that the person that I had cheated on my husband with was a manipulator. Now, don't get me wrong, I had a lot to do with the affair. But, our relationship lasted off and on for over 20 years. He knew me better then I knew myself. He knew how to get what he wanted and to make me feel good about it. The question is, why did I wait until now to see it. I have a husband that loves me, that would never manipulate me, especially after all we've been through over these last months. He has changed. He is a new creation. But why can't I open up to him? Why am I scared to? Why have I closed myself off to h...

Do Not Conform.......but be Transformed!

April 04, 2015

Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. (2) Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be to test what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will. If I never thought that God was moving in my life, this is the week I have been proved WRONG. Last Sunday, I woke up knowing something was off. (That's the only way to explain it.) Things that I had been thinking about were really heavy on my heart. "Was I submitting to God? What do I need to do? Are you listening to Him?" I went through church hardly talking or looking at anyone for fear of breaking down emotionally.I went to the altar and wept, and wept, uncontrollably. I cried for Him to forgive me for not letting go, for not submitting to His will. Later, I come to find out, that was ...

Let's try this again..........

July 01, 2015

If you know me, you know I am super scared of heights! So, I can't stand roller coasters. The speed doesn't bother me, because, I'm kind of a speed freak, but the height makes me want to puke! I've only been on one roller coaster in my life and that was at the age of 10. My dad forced me to go, boy did he regret that! I was so scared that I bit his shoulder! Haha! TAKE THAT!!! Anyways, back to where I was going with this, you know that feeling when you hit the low spot? You know that feeling that makes your stomach drop? Then you start slowly climbing the next hill and you hear the click-click-click of the gears on the coaster and your stomach starts to get a quesy feeling and you want to just jump off or yell STOP! I change my mind! Then all of sudden it feels like the floor just dropped out from under you and you really want to puke! I would have never thought that I could feel all of those feelings without actually being on a roller coaster! I have had a...