House of Mercy

Well, as if there’s not enough from the book Mended that actually correlates with my life, now there’s another section that just yelled my name!!!!! Really??? Ok, it’s about John 5:2-9. It’s talking about a pool of water called “Bethesda” where people went to become healed. In a nutshell, Jesus asked an invalid of 38 years if he wanted to be healed. Of course, Jesus knew the answer, but he still asked. The man replied with something like, I don’t have anyone to help me, so others get in before me. Sorry, there’s a lot that’s missing from that story, but hopefully you get the jest of it. The man did not answer Jesus’ question. His original question was “Do you want to be healed?”

Okay, so here’s the kicker, the following paragraph;
“Do you want a strong marriage despite coming from a broken home? Do you want to raise your children to love the Lord even though you know they have seen you sin? Do you want to walk free from the pull of that sin that has plagued you for years?”

Yep, I just got sucker punched. These are the questions that He has been asking me. Have I said Yes, showing my faith, or have I been like the invalid man who made excuses. Unfortunately, I've made too many excuses.

So, at the end of the chapter, it has a part to reflect on. It says, “What is an area in your life where you need to conscientiously acknowledge a desire to the Lord. Sometimes we wander around in our frustration and never go to Him with our request. Does he know the desires of our hearts? Absolutely He does. But just as Jesus prayed to the Father, so are we to – daughter to Father. Are you waiting on the side of the pool for healing but haven’t told Him? Maybe you have spent too many days talking about how it’s hopeless or that you don’t see a way out.”


Wow! There seriously has to be a camera directed at my life! That last sentence describes everything right now. The book says that God wants to have a relationship with us, and that I need to communicate in detail my heart’s desire for the area I feel that I need him in. He doesn't want to stand in the distance. He wants to know, “Do I want to be healed?” 

5/29/15 After much encouragement I was asked to go back and read some of my early posts. I landed on this one. I definitely needed to re-read this post. This past week has been full of hurts, and ended with me basically walking away from everything, including God. I know, not the best choice. So, now I feel like I have totally screwed everything up and I'm trying to find my way back. But, with that comes all of the excuses that I have mentioned in this blog. I have to let it go, more then anything I have to absolutely stop living in the past, leaving all my sins back there. I have to give them to God and move on. MOVE ON!!!! Yes, they are always going to be there, but they cannot control my life anymore! They have shaped me to be the person I am today. Maybe one day I'll be able to help someone or relate to someone much better because of what I've been through. 

Thank You Lord for forgiving me. Please help to remember that you have forgiven me, even though I can't completely wrap my head around it. I need you in my life, please forgive me for walking away. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen



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