BeautifullyBroken

When your heart is breaking and you don't know where to turn..... Jesus says ..... Come to me ..... I know you are hurting Have you ever been so hurt? So heartbroken you just want to shut the world out? You don't feel like you can function normally? You are so far past gone you only see the "I can't's" in life. In every day motions? It's been a long week for me....and tonight I am feeling totally heartbroken. Like my heart is ripped out of my chest. It's due to my own stupid choices. I know this. I know it is not God's fault, but last weekend I drove around and talked to God for about 10 minutes. I yelled at him, asked him why I'm in this situation. Why I'm still facing the same problems over and over. I didn't get an answer, but I felt better for a little bit. So, now tonight, I have cried my heart out. I can't do anything else about it all except for to cry. I hate when I get to this point. I've been asked, "Ar

I have struggled for a very long time on finding peace in my life. Looking at my past, when I do find it, it's from the wrong places. From places that I know are against God's will.  Now, I know that I am supposed to find peace in Jesus Christ. That's my head knowledge. But, it's a long road from my brain to my heart. (Side note, this applies to many areas of my life!) My church has been praying together corporately for awhile now every Thursday night. Unfortunately, it's not very well attended, but this last few Thursdays I have been here for that hour.  Now, if you know me at all, you know this might be the most uncomfortable thing for me. I can sing on the Praise Team and I'm okay with that, but there's something about praying out loud that I get very self-conscious about. When I'm in that environment I have this personal struggle in my head that I must pray out, and I don't, because it won't be "good enough," or

So, recently, we have had a conversation at church regarding being honest with those around you. How our church family is supposed to be just that! Family! I know what you are thinking. We are Christian, we should be different. Just because of that though, it doesn't stop the world problems from coming through. How many times have you been at church, and talked about someone behind their back? Or, thought negative thoughts about them? Or, judged them? It's so easy to do and you can get trapped in that very quickly. I've done it so many times. So the question lies in that we have to figure out how to get past these issues, and trust, really trust, that everyone is part of yours/my church family. Most people including myself, have not had that great of experiences regarding family. So, to say that I have trust issues might be a bit of an understatement. Trust is such an essential thing in any relationship. This can make or break any relationship. There's only been a

When I gaze at the stars, I fall more in love I have to believe that You are there My heart breaks When I think about all I've done. How could I be forgiven? How could you possible? Why would I? Why would I keep going back? I've done the unthinkable The unforgivable. Stop trying to pursue me. I deserve to be punished. I deserve to die. The hurts I've caused people, If only they knew. It's so  hard to ignore my feelings, To do what is right Not what makes me feel happy, what makes me feel the best. I keep praying that if I stop If I do what is right That what you have planned will shine through But, when? How long do I have to wait? Will the blessings ever come? I want to hear you, When I look at the stars I want you to whisper to me, "I love you I died for you Unconditionally Not if...... I will always love you unconditionally But, YOU have to CHOOSE You have to CHOOSE ME!!!"