My Gibb's Slap For The Night!!!!!

When your heart is breaking and you don't know where to turn.....

Jesus says
..... Come to me
..... I know you are hurting


Have you ever been so hurt? So heartbroken you just want to shut the world out? You don't feel like you can function normally? You are so far past gone you only see the "I can't's" in life. In every day motions? It's been a long week for me....and tonight I am feeling totally heartbroken. Like my heart is ripped out of my chest.

It's due to my own stupid choices. I know this. I know it is not God's fault, but last weekend I drove around and talked to God for about 10 minutes. I yelled at him, asked him why I'm in this situation. Why I'm still facing the same problems over and over. I didn't get an answer, but I felt better for a little bit.

So, now tonight, I have cried my heart out. I can't do anything else about it all except for to cry. I hate when I get to this point. I've been asked, "Aren't you tired of being sad?" Yes, but it's hard for me to process this all. Hard for me to get past stupid things and move on. I won't more than anything to follow my heart, which I know, in my head that I cannot.

I want to go back in time and change my past.............unfortunately time machines are too expensive! Haha!  (I know, corny joke!)

(Jeremiah 17:9) The heart is deceitful (wow, do I know that!) above all things and beyond cure. (Does this mean I might spend my lifetime with a broken heart? GREAT! Well, crap, guess I should put my big girls panties on now and fake it until I make it then, huh?)

Sorry, I'm off my tangent now. What I was going to say is that tonight, as I'm wallowing in my despair and start writing my blog, I sit down at my computer. I just sat there staring at it for a little bit. Started typing the first few lines, then I got stumped and looked at my computer again. A few weeks ago I changed my background on my computer. I really didn't look at the verse, I mostly just liked that it said Peace and it was pretty. Well, tonight, I needed that verse. I am pretty sure God wanted that verse there for exactly this night. (Yeah, I know, I'm amazed too!)

The verse is:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14:27

There it is things that have been bothering me this past week......peace and being afraid.....laid out to me, saying "STOP! God's got this!" Sometimes it takes a big old Gibb's slap to get my attention.

Hopefully, tomorrow I can get control of my heart and stop letting it think for me. I'm a work in progress, as long as I keep trying to work, I should be okay, right?

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