PEACE? Where are you?





I have struggled for a very long time on finding peace in my life. Looking at my past, when I do find it, it's from the wrong places. From places that I know are against God's will.  Now, I know that I am supposed to find peace in Jesus Christ. That's my head knowledge. But, it's a long road from my brain to my heart. (Side note, this applies to many areas of my life!)

My church has been praying together corporately for awhile now every Thursday night. Unfortunately, it's not very well attended, but this last few Thursdays I have been here for that hour. 

Now, if you know me at all, you know this might be the most uncomfortable thing for me. I can sing on the Praise Team and I'm okay with that, but there's something about praying out loud that I get very self-conscious about. When I'm in that environment I have this personal struggle in my head that I must pray out, and I don't, because it won't be "good enough," or "I'll sound stupid," etc. etc. So, I quietly pray either in my head or in a very soft whisper while others are praying. 

This last Thursday night I stepped out side of my box and asked for prayers for something personal. (Just this action took every ounce of courage that I had.) Once my Pastor and a couple friends started praying I listened, then intermittently I prayed to myself. I think this lasted like 5 hours........No, I'm kidding, it really only lasted about 30 minutes. 

After all was said and done I started my way home, with a different feeling. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a very long time. Like, so long, that it took quite a bit for me to recognize what it actually was. I was calm, I was okay, I wasn't stressed, I was at PEACE. I couldn't believe that such a simple act could actually bring me peace. I've prayed so many times on my own, but I don't know, I can't explain it very well, except, maybe my heart was in it? I don't know, but there was something about others praying for me and praying right alongside them that left me with this feeling. 

Still today as I'm writing this I'm almost shocked. I still have this feeling even 24 hours later. Now, I know it's going to be such a struggle to keep it, but, for now, I want to just relish in this. In this moment of peace for as long as  possible. 

I hope that this has touched you in some way. If you are needing prayers for something in your life, please comment and let me know. I would love to pray for you. 

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