Brokeness

Brokenness

The point where you feel like you can’t go on.

The point where you feel like you have no choices.

The point where you feel so alone.

The point where you feel like you can’t win.

The point where you feel like everyone is against you.

Until you come to a point that the only thing that you can do is

To turn to God!

The only thing you can do is Pray.

The only thing you can do is yell out, Jesus help me!

I woke up this morning having a bad dream. There was person in there that hasn’t been on my mind too much lately. But I woke up missing him more than ever. I miss his embrace. I just want to hug him. I was about in tears. This feeling of not ever being able to embrace him like that is part of my brokenness.  I miss him so much. I miss his sense of humor. I miss the way he used to look at me. I’m angry with myself because I shouldn’t be missing him.

As I’m lying there I think about things that have happened in the past, the good times we’ve had. Then the thought pops into my mind, this is the devil playing tricks on me. He’s trying to tempt me. He’s making it hard on me to focus on Jesus. I actually had a very good week, where my focus has been off of this person, the devil saw this as a challenge. He probably thought to himself, “How can I get to her?” Well, he knows that I need my sleep, so that’s where he filtered in through. The devil crept in. How did he creep in? That frustrates me. Did I let him in? It came so unexpectedly.


The devil took my thoughts and used them against me! So the only thing to do is pray! I prayed, still fighting the devil. Prayed more, tried to push those thoughts out. My life currently is a fight to not let me thoughts and emotions rule over my obedience to God. 

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