Worry, gets me every time!

Dwelling, Worrying, Overthinking

Those three words pretty much sum up my life. This is what I do. I worry about the simplest of things. I worry about things that I can’t control. I worry about things I can control. I worry that some of my nightmares may come true. I worry on if I’ll be able to handle what happens in my life. I worry about my kids, how they grow up, am I doing right by them? My life is full of worry moments……

The bible says in Matthew 6:33-34; But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.


I know I need to embrace this. How do I do that when this has been part of my personality for so long. I mean, I worry about things that happened ten years ago. Did I say the right thing? Could I have handled that differently? Why did I do that? Okay, lots of prayers. Right now, I’m also worried that someone might figure out that it’s me writing this. I’m not comfortable with that, mostly, because my writing is very intimate and a very personal side of me. Things I’m not comfortable with the whole town knowing. I’m not even comfortable that my good friends know. Maybe it’s because I’ve always been the type of person that makes the right choices. I don’t want people to know that I may have been wrong. I don’t know. I’m debating on shutting it down. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Insignificant

Image
The world has drowned itself out, my worries, my anxiety, my brokenness, my overthinking, all submerged into the water as I lay on my back staring up at the black sky. A clear night like no other, I'm amazed at the stars that I can see, and yet don't dare to even began to count them. I pick out the Little Dipper, more because it's the only one I can really remember from school. The water is warm on this summer night as I lay as still as can be. I almost feel like I'm laying in a giant bathtub, but my part of body that isn't covered by water gets goosebumps, more to just remind me I'm outside.  It is so quiet, I can hear my heart beating, the sounds gives me comfort, in some strange way. The water in my ears drowns out everything else. Everything is so peaceful and calm, if only my heart was that way.  As I stop in the center of the pool, and relax as I've never relaxed before... I think about how insignificant I am. Who am I? In this world with billion
Read more

I AM A Child of God

Image
If you grew up in a rough atmosphere, not the best relationships with your family it is so hard to figure out who you are in the eyes of God. This has been something I have struggled with for almost 4 years now. It's so hard to see God's wonderful grace, his mercy, his compassion, his total unconditional love. I've never experienced these types of things in my life, so how can God........... I try my hardest to show these things to my own kids so they never have to struggle in knowing what this all looks like. My prayer today is that I can see/feel/know/understand all these qualities from a God that I know through the bible loves me.
Read more

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger???

Looking back on my life, this simple quote makes me think? What doesn't kill you makes you what? Stronger? Happier? More peaceful? Smarter? I feel like you can put anything at the end of this statement. My ending word has changed more times then I care to admit, as I suppose that yours has too. Having a micro-premie....."What doesn't kill you makes you smarter?" I learned so much for our 5 month hiatus in the NICU. I witnessed so many miracles. This was a time that in my life that I was the most scared, for my life and for my baby. If you have never seen what a 1 pound, 23 week baby looked like outside of the womb, you wouldn't get how amazing of a place any NICU is. I am so thankful for all that I learned through my first miracle. I'm so thankful that God gave me her to make me stronger!  Having not one, but two strokes..... "What doesn't kill you makes you anxious?" This one took me awhile to really come up with. There's a long story with
Read more