Attitude Change 4 --- Old Relationships


I have to stop worrying about the relationships that I can’t and won’t have. I miss that forbidden relationship so much. But the fact that it was forbidden should tell me something. It should have never started in the first place.

I have a problem with the relationships in my life. Growing up I really didn’t have a great role model when it came to relationships. My parents divorced when I was about 5, so I don’t really remember how they dealt with disagreements. So that’s kind of a hard thing for me. As I grew up into a teenager I started to look elsewhere for role models. I had lots of people walk in and out of my life, but no great set of role models that I could always look to. The first serious relationship that I had, I clung onto for far too long. He actually paid attention to me, I was important to him, and I felt it. He always put me first, I had never had that, even from my parents. We were to be married, yes I understand this was a high school relationship, things never work out as planned, which I am thankful for. I’ve also come to the realization that pre-marital sex also has played a large role in how we were connected. Even on the day I married my husband, I was thinking of my ex-boyfriend. How sad is that? Our relationship was on and off for almost 20 years. He knows me more than anyone else. When I would talk to him I wouldn’t have to explain why I was upset, he would know. He was with me through the worst times in my life as I was growing into adulthood. We both messed up a lot. I’m thankful for the relationship that I had with him, but how do I stop looking back? I absolutely have to stop looking back. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. What’s in the past has to be exactly that. I cannot and will not go down that path again. No matter how inviting and familiar the devil tries to make it look. I have to remember how many times he lied to me. How he deceived me. How he sought after a married woman. How he was not good for me. I wasn’t the best person I could be when I was with him.

I have to remember what Corinthians 15:33 says Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”  I absolutely have to remember this. I want to raise my kids with good morals and teach them how to follow Christ. I can’t have another life that is hidden from them and be able to teach them to do those things.  Matthew 6:33, KJV But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God.” So, in other words, read His word and pray. As soon as I start thinking about all of these problems this is what I need to do.


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