Peace

What a day! It’s been an emotional type of roller coaster day for me! Overall everything worked out, but my worry and anticipation caught up with me. Why I’m really writing is because I have some great news. With all of the food that I ate today, I had to go on a walk. I was worried at first because I was afraid I was going to be tempted to text him. But I prayed and still went on my walk. As soon as I walk across my street, who happens to drive by? Yep, he did. The one I’m getting over, the relationship that has ended, the one whom I had the affair with. Okay, deep breath. I had a choice to make right then and there. Do I fall apart, return home? Do I over think it and keep walking? Do I pray more about it, stop thinking about it and continue on? Well, before I made the decision, I reached into my pocket and grabbed my post it note and held it in my hand. The post it note states the following verse 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful, He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted He will also provide a way out so you can stand up under it.  After remembering what was written on the piece of paper I was not going to let the devil ruin my walk. That’s right, I continued on and started thinking about other things. Yes, I had to keep on with the mental fight, but I was able to continue on and not dwell!

The further I walked the happier I got! I felt a sense of peace. It was almost surreal. I was watching the beautiful sky and listening to Fix My Eyes by King and Country. There’s a line in it that hit me upside the head, “All of the heartbreaks, all of the mistakes, here’s what I’d do differently, I’d love like I’m not scared, give when it’s not fair, Live life for another, take time for a brother, Fight for the weak ones, Speak out for freedom, find faith in the battle, stand tall but above it all, Fix my eyes on you!” Actually, the one that hit me the hardest was the “I’d love like I’m not scared.” I am scared. I’m scared to be happy. I’m scared to let me guard down again. It’s almost like a realization just hit me! I have to go back to square one and “Fix my eyes on Him.”


I have to say though, that even as I’m listening and looking at the stars, I felt peace. I didn’t feel all torn up. So, for now, I’m going to take that feeling and try to hold on as long as I can. Thank you Lord for that feeling, please help me to feel it more. For now, I’m just going to smile and be happy! 

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