Submit or Hold Firm
I have a lot on my mind this week. It all started with the sermon that I listened to on Sunday. The Pastor talked about how deep we are in the water. Are we high enough in the water that we are totally letting God control every move in our lives? Or, are we only ankle deep in the water and go into and out of the water under our own control. This has been a huge struggle for me over this last few months.
My Pastor pointed it out pretty clear to me when he pointed out that I am smart and know what to say and when to say it, but he could plainly see that I wasn't submitting fully to God. Back to my previous post, "Why is it so hard to submit fully to God?" Another question, "What do I need to do to fully submit to God?" OH, here's another one, "How do I know I've fully submitted to God?" (I know how I haven't submitted to Him.)
Is the answer to all of these questions as simple as Read & Pray? Maybe? I don't know.
Sunday, the day that I faced my fear of singing in front of everyone at church. I don't know how I did it. The only explanation that I have is that God helped me through it. I stressed and stressed about this for a long time. I knew that I needed to do this. I knew that God wanted me to do it, otherwise, He wouldn't have laid it on my heart to do it, right? I honestly cannot even remember singing the song, I remember getting done, looking behind me at my Pastor and smiling, thinking, "I did it!" I was so happy that I did it!
Then I listened to the sermon. It was a powerful sermon, one that mentioned giving up control about 20 times! I know I have a problem with this! Is this why I am having a problem with submitting everything to God, yep, it is. So, why can't I give up control? Hand everything over to God and give up control?
Afterwards the Pastor called the congregation up to the altar to relinquish their control and let God lead them where the water would take them. What did I do? I held firm where my feet were planted. Why? Control........ Looking back, should I have went to the altar? Oh, by all means Yes. This is a huge struggle for me and I don't know how to give it up.
What now? That's the question of the week......................
My Pastor pointed it out pretty clear to me when he pointed out that I am smart and know what to say and when to say it, but he could plainly see that I wasn't submitting fully to God. Back to my previous post, "Why is it so hard to submit fully to God?" Another question, "What do I need to do to fully submit to God?" OH, here's another one, "How do I know I've fully submitted to God?" (I know how I haven't submitted to Him.)
Is the answer to all of these questions as simple as Read & Pray? Maybe? I don't know.
Sunday, the day that I faced my fear of singing in front of everyone at church. I don't know how I did it. The only explanation that I have is that God helped me through it. I stressed and stressed about this for a long time. I knew that I needed to do this. I knew that God wanted me to do it, otherwise, He wouldn't have laid it on my heart to do it, right? I honestly cannot even remember singing the song, I remember getting done, looking behind me at my Pastor and smiling, thinking, "I did it!" I was so happy that I did it!
Then I listened to the sermon. It was a powerful sermon, one that mentioned giving up control about 20 times! I know I have a problem with this! Is this why I am having a problem with submitting everything to God, yep, it is. So, why can't I give up control? Hand everything over to God and give up control?
Afterwards the Pastor called the congregation up to the altar to relinquish their control and let God lead them where the water would take them. What did I do? I held firm where my feet were planted. Why? Control........ Looking back, should I have went to the altar? Oh, by all means Yes. This is a huge struggle for me and I don't know how to give it up.
What now? That's the question of the week......................
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