I am a new Christian. I have many struggles that I am seeking to overcome, from my relationship with Christ to my marriage. I am using this blog to not only help me deal with and face some of my problems but also hopefully to help others!
Surrender.....................
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Why does this submitting to God have to be so hard?
Today was one of those days that I felt thankful for everything. I thought about going through and listing everything and everyone I'm thankful for, but that might get to be a pretty boring list to read. Haha. Then there's the fact I wouldn't ever want to hurt anyone's feelings by being left out, so that's not going to happen. But, how about I list my top 3? Okay, my top 3 include; Jesus Christ Family & Friends Where I'm at today Now, I thought I would explain each one. Jesus Christ; Without Him I would not have been forgiven of my sin. This has been a huge struggle for me......I think it probably will always be a struggle. I have a horrible time at forgiving myself for what I have done to my husband and to my family. Christ and my family have forgiven me for my past, but it still haunts me and probably always will. I think that when you have done something so terribly wrong, you've broken a commandment, it will haunt you. ...
Do you ever look back and think, Why? What was I thinking? How could I have done that? Well, today I was on a trip with a good friend and she said something and all of a sudden, something that my Pastor has been saying for a while finally clicked. (Sometimes it takes a while for that to happen, and sometimes I have to hear it a lot. This was a great example of that.) I realized that the person that I had cheated on my husband with was a manipulator. Now, don't get me wrong, I had a lot to do with the affair. But, our relationship lasted off and on for over 20 years. He knew me better then I knew myself. He knew how to get what he wanted and to make me feel good about it. The question is, why did I wait until now to see it. I have a husband that loves me, that would never manipulate me, especially after all we've been through over these last months. He has changed. He is a new creation. But why can't I open up to him? Why am I scared to? Why have I closed myself off to h...
Romans 12:1-2 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. (2) Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be to test what God's will is - his good, pleasing, and perfect will. If I never thought that God was moving in my life, this is the week I have been proved WRONG. Last Sunday, I woke up knowing something was off. (That's the only way to explain it.) Things that I had been thinking about were really heavy on my heart. "Was I submitting to God? What do I need to do? Are you listening to Him?" I went through church hardly talking or looking at anyone for fear of breaking down emotionally.I went to the altar and wept, and wept, uncontrollably. I cried for Him to forgive me for not letting go, for not submitting to His will. Later, I come to find out, that was ...
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