I am a new Christian. I have many struggles that I am seeking to overcome, from my relationship with Christ to my marriage. I am using this blog to not only help me deal with and face some of my problems but also hopefully to help others!
Surrender.....................
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Why does this submitting to God have to be so hard?
The world has drowned itself out, my worries, my anxiety, my brokenness, my overthinking, all submerged into the water as I lay on my back staring up at the black sky. A clear night like no other, I'm amazed at the stars that I can see, and yet don't dare to even began to count them. I pick out the Little Dipper, more because it's the only one I can really remember from school. The water is warm on this summer night as I lay as still as can be. I almost feel like I'm laying in a giant bathtub, but my part of body that isn't covered by water gets goosebumps, more to just remind me I'm outside. It is so quiet, I can hear my heart beating, the sounds gives me comfort, in some strange way. The water in my ears drowns out everything else. Everything is so peaceful and calm, if only my heart was that way. As I stop in the center of the pool, and relax as I've never relaxed before... I think about how insignificant I am. Who am I? In this world with billion...
If you grew up in a rough atmosphere, not the best relationships with your family it is so hard to figure out who you are in the eyes of God. This has been something I have struggled with for almost 4 years now. It's so hard to see God's wonderful grace, his mercy, his compassion, his total unconditional love. I've never experienced these types of things in my life, so how can God........... I try my hardest to show these things to my own kids so they never have to struggle in knowing what this all looks like. My prayer today is that I can see/feel/know/understand all these qualities from a God that I know through the bible loves me.
I have vowed that I am going to look at the bright side of things. I have got to stay more positive and be more thankful for what I have. God blessed me with so much, and my hope is that if I focus on what He has blessed me with, when things do go wrong, it won't be that big of a deal. This is a short list, and trust me there is so much more, but these were on my mind today. 1. Did you wake up breathing today? Consider yourself blessed. 2. Can you pay your bills? I know sometimes money is tight, but eventually we do get there. We have been a lot better since starting the Dave Ramsey course. But, I can afford to feed my kids. I can afford to keep my lights on. When money gets tight, I have to remember, God will provide. 3. Do you have people in your life that will support you? There has been times in my life I would say no. But I can honestly say right now that I am beyond blessed in this area. When I started church again a few months ago I gained one of the best friends that ...
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