Baptism

                                        


This is the testimony that I gave at my baptism yesterday:

As many of you know, this has been a stressful, emotional last  7 months. My marriage basically fell apart right before many of your eyes, only to be brought together right before many of your eyes. I have struggled, I have failed, I have completely fell apart more then once. I have struggled with letting go of control, letting Jesus have that control, giving it all to God. From the hurt, the pain, past regrets, everything. Over this last week I have felt God more in my life then I think I've ever felt Him. He has pushed me more then once to come to Him at the altar, each time getting a little closer, a little closer to giving it all to Him. Friday Night, God was calling me,  I have absolutely no doubts on that. He showed himself to me so many times that night, not once or twice, but probably more then 10 times. Little signs everywhere, signs that confirmed so much of what those that care about me had been saying. I listened with mixed emotions, on one hand it scared me, on the other I felt comforted and more loved then ever before. At the end of the Easter Drama the pastor said so many things that were compelling me to come forward. Everything he said resembled my life. Things that I had been trying to work on, things that I couldn't let go of, just my life in general. The words that took my breath away though was when he said, "God put Romans 12:1-2" Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. I was shocked, first thing I do is look down at my Pastor and think "How did he know that? Did you tell him?" I knew better, but that split second I didn't know what to think. How else can you explain? I had been working on that verse for over a week. Trying to break it down into how it relates to my life, trying to figure out what the then looks like. Finally, I knew it was GOD!  It took me a long time to give up control, way longer then it should have, but for the first time, I felt like I was done. Done with all the hurt and bad things from my past, I was done with beating myself up for it. I have to move on, I have to keep my eyes on God! I will submit to Him now for the rest of my life!


Now, that being said; Do I know that there are going to be hard times ahead? Most definitely. But I have to rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to give me strength and get me through. I can not rely on my own strength, I have to rely on God!

Paul warned, "Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace" (Romans 8:5-6).

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